I always tell my students and myself to put a name and face to your fear. That way you can have a coping solution to those butterflies in your stomach; a net and a jar with a lid. Not that it’s easy, by no means. But i’s easier than a general panic attack!
Then with the name and face to the fear, you can begin to understand it. Turn it, see what it looks like. Think outside the box until click! it fits into place just like a jigsaw puzzle.
It’s easy to figure out that your reaction to a “Please leave me alone” is not your responsibility. It’s a scared and rude response to an innocent email. Then figure out what you would do; ignore it and move on ! See naming is a coping mechanism and a distraction. Butterflies and fear is to warn us to do something and running around like a chicken with its head cut off accomplished nothing but to avoid what your instincts are telling you to do.
Or before a situation that could be seen as a confrontation, but is nothing but a bottom line stance substantiated by facts outside yourself. They have nothing to confront but facts. You may be either rusty or learning, but allow yourself the strength to stand still.
Sometimes you just have to know the fear is there for a good reason, but you have to relax.Because it’s coming anyway and the only way to survive is to relax. Sounds weird doesn’t it ? But without relaxing, the tension causes the pain and fear to intensify.
Hope alone won’t help. Cope as well. Get yourself out of the way with your strengths, not give in o you weaknesses.
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