Jelousy

I like to deal with specifics, just like the fictional Dr Temperance Brennan. And though we’re supposed to talk about what we know, what we live, it can be painful to both sides, it can be unfair, it can be extremely biased. That’s why I use WordFlex as my dictionary of choice and a great app called theWork which gets you to think from all sides.

It’s extremely intriguing that jealousy can be equated with discomfiture. More than uncomfortable, but just like a burr in your saddle, this gnaws at you. Just like my recurring nightmare.

I think you can only be jealous of something you’ve invested into. The more investiture the more jealousy when it’s gone. Mine resolves around a promise by three entities and to be brutally honest, I’m not sure i could confront the pain itself because the lack of the promises leave me without my lifetime base. And isn’t that what it’s all about ? That jealousy comes originally from the discomfiture of no longer being able to sit rock steady in your beliefs ? Is it that you DID know what you had, you just never believed it would go ?

Man is designed to seek comfort, no to constantly be tested. But we are. Why ? Maybe to hone us into someone, maybe to see if we are worthy. Bu I believe that we are tested mostly by ourselves seeking something higher. And that something higher is not rational in the sense that our senses, even of reason, can predetermine what this is like. It is beyond us just like the whale songs resonate to us, but have been beyond our fathoming.

A big thank you goes out to the speakers of BigThink.Com in proposing theories of everything. The first was on a speaker of string theory who found that to him the mind of God was music. The second was a theoretical psychologist (I’ve always felt that psychology is a special application of philosophy) who expanded the theory of compassion into the basis of everything, to him.

I like to think of myself as the psychologist termed “Self Illuminated Altruist.”
I used to resonate with the music. I used to be comfortable to ride on my beliefs. Now I sing to another music, but have lost hearing it inside. Now I’m riding beside my beliefs, challenging myself all the way.

Should I have met this with a prepared mind ? Absolutely! But that’s as far as I’ll go with the Buddhists. I’m Christian Orthodox for unshakeable faiths I won’t go into now.

So after using the app, THEWORK, I can see clearly that yes, I am jealous, but instead of directing it outwardly, it’s part of myself I’ve lost as I said before. So my choice is to turn that inward and curse myself or turn it sideways and become happy with myself. I don’t know how to do it yet, nor what I lost to do it, but maybe I’ll gain my soul back. And I want that very dearly.

So it seems like the answer to jealousy it to turn it sideways and ride it to happiness, whatever that is for you. It is NOT finding something else to complete you. You are who you are and will only get better. Does it hurt ? Hell yeah, in a spot you can’t reach to touch or massage. But is it also your motivational muse. It spurs us on from “it happens” to “it happens, and I will deal with it.”

Look at it this way, I have an infection. rather than blaming it on someone else, i m going to be my best doctor and excise the infection by being my best and I will know when i am my best when the infection goes away. It all boils down to faith in myself coming from a scientific application of a philosophic mindset. An existentialist, or being in the now with proof. Applying it without remorse, or rabidly. A rabid existentialist.

I believe that entities change.But I also believe that our main guiding principles do not. And that anyone who bends that does so at their own peril. So while you amy walk through the Ganges and come out the other side a new entity, you can always apply those guiding principles to be YOU again. That’s one reason I am orthodox, I practice beliefs that are ages old and do not deviate.

Someday I hope to be able to hear the music again, to believe in another’s promise. But until then i will have to ride the waves hoping to get my sea legs and navigate by the stars I know not of, YET.I hope to cure my on insanity and heal my own broken body. I will aspire.

Wonderfully this feels like Sun Tzu’s admonishment that to win, be where they aren’t. Just in my case there is no they, its just a manifestation of myself

Again, I ask for your comments, criticisms and feedback either here or at capn.walker@yahoo.com .

James C walker III JD Paralegal A+ CPSS

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Location:S Meeting St,Statesville,United States

Worth i ness

What is worth ? Well, it’s both a noun and adjective. As a noun it can mean measure, as an adjective it can mean sufficiently good. Or it can mean what someone is willing to give for something.

For phrases that use it are: for what it’s worth, for all someone is worth, worth one’s while, worth one’s salt …

But that still doesn’t get at the root: what am I worth ?

And my answer is that we are not worth what someone pays us or worth what is in our bank account. I say that we are worth what we have done for others. For who else stands for us ? Our unselfish acts are what defines us and gives us worth.

Anyone who cannot stand before another and give what’s needed is not of worth. Why ? Not because of what you think is needed or the other person thinks is needed, but what works out to be needed. Brand me what you will, but I believe we answer to a higher power who helps us in times of need and will determine what’s needed.

Because if we want to look at ‘worth’, look at cold cash, look at hardness of soul, look at how well they please someone.

That’s fake. Spit on the buddah if you see him; question christ, because it would have to be the first or second coming; but don’t question God because you’re likely to get an answer that sends you back to do your best for others. Not just family or friends, because they would just return it. Do for someone because they need it. And if you look hard enough, you need to give it to live a full life.

An untested, unquestioned life is not worth living. But the tests are real life, not prearranged; the questions are not found in a book, but from real people who are lost in a topic.

But do it with some good humor, some laughter, some joi de vive. Love of life. Because worthiness is all about life. Because when life is over and we are judged, all worthiness is at an end.

Walk forward, head high because the judgement is here now and you CAN meet it if you want.

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Location:S Meeting St,Statesville,United States

Give, giving, give if, give off, give up, give in

Confusing title ? Confusing subject! For those of you with WordFlex, try searching for GIVE and you’ll get a screenful of relations. They all derive off “give”, from “gibe to “give of’ and more…

Here I’m talking about giving a gift. It works!

You know what’s next: what works and how does it work. Well, I firmly believe that the unquestioned life isn’t worth living. And that said, we have to know or discover what colors our world as a result of our questioning. Colors of our world are many and they have many descriptions: healthy, guiding principle, unhealthy, learned, old and useless and so forth.

One of my colors is a guiding principle that I am an Orthodox Christian. We have our own set of baggage, but I believe in it and that’s what counts. And I will continue to believe in it until someone convinces me that there’s a better alternative which will be a long time if ever.

See, I belief that while change is inevitable, guiding principles or promises are not. To lose them is to lose oneself. And yes, I believe that’s why we have such a high divorce rate. Anyway…

We believe in giving forward, giving of ourselves, giving gifts, all without strings attached. That is, not expecting anything in return. And we aren’t the only ones who believe that way either.

So today I chose to give of myself by first volunteering as a Certified Peer Support Specialist, or CPSS, in a local mental health facility. I fell asleep when I was to be leaving and consequently arrived late, but my supervisor is extremely understanding. During the days before and after I gave other things either up or of myself. And in return for not expecting anything in return, this night was absolutely fantastic and tomorrow will be even better.

Now I did avoid getting used in the process, which is a had chore to do. A blessing in disguise.

So what am I really saying ? Giving of any nature will give back. I believe it’s through a higher entity. And believing that is a guiding principle I have. You may have another and that’s your right.

But I’m giving notice to the grinches of the world. You may live long enough to laugh at us, but guess who’ll be better off ? If you can’t give of yourself and still adhere to your promises and guiding principles, I’ll pray for you. Better yet, write me and let’s see how you can change.

Reach me in a comment here or my email capn.walker@yahoo.com.

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Location:S Meeting St,Statesville,United States

Community Standards

I need your help folks, i really do need comments!

What are community standards ? Are they the same that’s used when determining pornography, are they what a panel of representative users get together decide, or they imposed by some higher authority? Personally I would like to see what the judicial system says.

Specifically a panel of twelve jurists were assembled in the case Hamling v US, 418 US 83,106. They were to determine whether or not there was a case of spamming from a foreign country where the content was questionably pornography. In this case “community standards” were what an average person in the COUNTRY, not a single individual nor a deviant or one totally insensitive determined.

Which just proves my case. If Facebook itself promotes you to join friends, suggests the friends and the overwhelming majority of users accept a request for friendship, DE FACTO a single individual rejecting the request is not legal grounds for suspension of anything. But that’s my opinion and why i’m posting it outside Facebook.

How can a request for friendship be an abuse ? Seriously, please tell me! Facebook says you must “know” the person. However, if the person has mutual friends in common (we’re not talking about a single woman who looked like she could be “the one”, or any single anyone), don’t you “know” them well enough to issue a friend request ?

And what in a friend request is repulsive enough to report as an abuse ? It is a request that you wish that person to be in a circle of social friends. It’s not a permanent commitment, you can “unfriend” at any point. besides you can still know the person, yet they say you don’t and report abuse.

There are no cross checks folks. No balance and checks. By fiat, one person didn’t like a request to be in a social circle and the powers that be enforced the click of a mouse to a harmless breach of equitte.

What does this do realistically ? Do you want now to accept or send a friend request? Certainly you should feel free to reject a request without calling it an abuse. But do you want to send one out now WITHOUT the specific request of the person ? Probably not. And how do you get that request without asking. But the penalty is to be TEMPORARILY banned from messaging outside your circle. So you can’t know TEMPORARILY if someone wants to be your friend.

To ME this is ludicrous, not just the bans, but what it teaches and promotes. I have a vested interest in Facebook, so I’ll abide by the rules. i don’t like them, but it looks like there’s no appeal or change process. So this too teaches that there’s no way to change the system for better or worse.

End of soapbox, your turn. Not just as always, but even more in this case do I want your comments.

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Location:S Meeting St,Statesville,United States

New Social Experiments

Ever been involved in trying to change a social dynamic No, I’m not thinking of the Harrod Experiment, though Lori of later fame does come to mind. But I’m thinking of changing how we deal with each other, how we relate and how we can learn to relate better.

There’s been a group started on FaceBook called GOOD GRIEF! just for the purpose of talking about grief online. But I started to think of how much it really is groundbreaking, or could be, by using social media to establish new boundaries.

How ? Well, I’m a CPSS which stands for Certified Peer Support Specialist, so I’ve had my share of being in self help moderated groups and even taught some. Not only will i be participating as a civilian, but I’m a moderator. So I have to decide how this is going to run.

There are NO guidelines for this anywhere, it’s a first! Just thinking of the possibilities and ramifications makes my head reel.

What are the possibilities ? Well, tragedy knows no geographical bounds. Neither does shared grief or recovery from it. We can get together and share experiences without getting on the phone with a group call, going to the airport and going to the site with the people sharing with you, or getting in the car and sharing with a professional moderator amongst a group who may not realize your situation.

Also, the interaction between people will be different. There are studies that show there’s more honesty with a faceless, distant email, chat or group than in person but the trade off is that the emotions become emoticons like little smiley or sad faces. There’s a sliding scale for us to use our honesty just like there’s the same scale for accepting it and that will have to be managed

Let me say, there will be no browbeating or temper tantrums or anything to disrupt the harmony of the group.

Downfalls: well, let’s face it, the cliques appearing in high school appear in social media. We don’t see all of it because quite a lot is done via chat or email. Somehow, we are going to have to blend the geeks and the beautiful ones and throw out all the stereotypes. Even the quiet ones will have to contribute, and they definitely do have something to contribute.

There will be no pity parties, no power plays or outtalking another. My challenge will be to make this a safe place for all.

Another question is how to manage the group membership. Will there be many groups one for each separate issue, or let everyone in ? That, I think, is going to have to be a group decision.

How about attendance, should it be required ?

Plus, see my earlier blog about extras facebook needs to add on. Like the unlike icon, the counter for how many have read a post, and so forth.

So come on out. If you don’t want to share your grief, why not help those who are / hopefully we’ll be making histoy.

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Location:S Meeting St,Statesville,United States

Please Facebook add this request for vir=ews for all posts

I started this out all in a rage. Maybe it was the fall on my head, maybe it was the phone calls, maybe it was a number of things. But it came to me that if FaceBook would just do in regular posts what they do in groups, the counter that shows how many times post had been viewed and who viewed it, it would solve a lot of problems. It would be nice if they added an ignore counter as well, either that or a thumbs down counter, but I think that’s been voiced.

Why, because it’s friends that talk with you, not just to you; they want to know how you feel; they call just to see how you are. And some friends rarely use social media instead of chat or tele/cell phone.

I thought it was silly, all these tests to see who would repost if your friends read your messages. But why do we need these? Sure, depression, boredom, anxiety all enter into it. Maybe social media isn’t doing the job of socializing needed. It’s just a means for friends to congregate and share posts that will not be read except when requested… ‘Hi mom, made it home in one piece, here’s that picture of junior you asked for.”

But very little social media is used to create a social framework. it’s merely based on what exists. Sure you can invite friends of mutual friends. But does that really BUILD a new framework ? I say “NO” resoundingly, if the caps don’t give it away.

While the word ‘Paradigm’ have been overused, it really appropriate in this case. We need a new one. One that rewards someone reaching out and a good measuring device to see how successful they were.

So it would be natural to see how many times a post has been viewed, if it was dis/liked, and if someone wanted to open a dialog (‘comments’). Then you could see your success. And try again to ‘friend’ someone or repost and see how it goes over. In a small way it teaches people to reach out. To see what works or doesn’t, and all without paying the high fees of a date site where you are actually tested and then put with a ‘match’ to see how it works out! Or tossed out into the social ‘waters’ to sink or swim!

I know the habits of my best friends when it comes to social media (by this I mean phone and chat as well as online) ; I have a grasp of how those calling me their friends use social media; and I have no grasp of those beyond my circle but just off the top of my head conjecture. We’re constantly improving the one way communication, like this blog, email or Facebook as it currently stands. But we have yet to EXTEND them.

Sure there are SOME improvements. Like email threading, g+, chat or texting with received markers; but I’m talking of real improvements.

Then I can really know what people think when i post about banging my head across the floor in humiliation and concussion; or why someone did or didn’t do something expected; or general knowledge. And gets rid of the wasted emotion, anxiety and depression.

In any case, just like the other blogs of mine, I want to know what you think.

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Location:S Meeting St,Statesville,United States

Quietude

My dad was a quiet man. Usually I’m quiet. Except here. But people have to understand nature and nurture drive us.

We are using a social medium to cause someone to act not just recognize a friendly conversation. That’s why I don’t repost and rarely openly comment.

People need a space to converse, not challenge, not ridicule, not put their views into another. i’d just like talking with my friends. And that’s all.

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Location:S Meeting St,Statesville,United States

The right to freely assemble and the rights remaining to the people versus private property rights

I really haven’t made my mind up on this issue, but it is a perplexing one.
The question is do private property owners have the right to restrict the right of the people to freely assemble ?

It’s taken for granted that owners can prevent harm to their property by any lawful means necessary. However should there be classes of people who are forbidden to rent, lease or own property because of past indiscretions. Or should there be the right to prevent those people involved in current indiscretions, yet not prosecuted, be banned as well.

In the latter case, which is accommodated by many, there is no judgement made that holds the individual liable for any transgressions. Yet are mere suspicions, or even instances not yet verified in a court of law, are not enough to ban a person. And it goes without saying that those convicted are either on parole or in prison and are legally limited from freely assembling.

But what about those who have “paid their dues” and have been released from prison ? Can they not assemble, even on private property. especially peaceably with the tenant’s consent ? Especially if the government has given money to the owner specifically so that the tenant can enjoy the “rights reserved to the people” ?

Will this be a loophole so that owners can discriminate further as to who they will let the tenant visit ?

It’s an interesting question that the legislature should decide if they have not already.

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Location:S Meeting St,Statesville,United States

Available for Flirting

It’s a conundrum isn’t it ? It’s not friend with benefits, but it is a way for a no attachment to bring two people together for a night or nights of fun.

But available? Ladies, do you want someone where there’s no challenge except as a toy ? Even though there’s no attachments, there’s still pride and basic human rights on how to be treated. So if a man, or woman, puts themselves “out there” do you want him or her if you don’t have to work for them ?

And what is flirtation anymore. It’s not necessarily leading to a meaningful, committed relationship anymore. Nor can one assume that jealousy won’t rear it’s ugly head unless there’s the famous “talk” before to set out expectations. What defines flirtation anymore ? Close contact, eye contact, jokes only they get, and honesty not given easily to others.

In either case comes the “crush”. The chemistry where one wants to know the other as well as they can. That wants the closeness and all the time and ‘being” the other can give.

Don’t laugh at chemistry. It’s more than the right pheromones (which IS documented), but the rapid calculation that this person is fascinating enough to invest time in. If you’re skeptical of that rapid calculation, read ‘Blink’ to see where you simply know an answer should you begin trusting that your brain runs at speeds uncomprehendable finishing before it can be worked out on computer or paper.

So is it worth it, this available flirtation ? My opinion is that in these times fraught with danger, YES! But you Ladies and Gentlemen need to speak up to let me know if and where my logic is faulty.

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Location:S Meeting St,Statesville,United States